Monday 31 January 2011

Friday 28 January 2011

"And breathing the sweet forest air
makes a bluebird aware
that she could be free."

Sky Sailing

I have this theory.

Each of us exists in our own world. "Reality" is a word that means little - it is created of a combination of each individual person's perception of the world. This perception creates an individual existence.

But each person's world also includes the people they know, live with, and come across as their life continues. Therefore there must be many, at least ever-so-slightly different versions of us. One version for the world of each person who knows us. Each version will differ because of each person's different perceptions of us, although the versions of those who know us best will overlap. And all those many versions of ourselves branch from the existing original around which our own world rotates. And all will be us, just slightly distorted.

This means that you are living many different existences, all at the same time.

Chess.

Unlike in a game of chess, the squares are not just in black and white. The greys merge and overlap in a subtle changing mess of shades. The black Knight has made his final move. It is a risky one at best, leaving him open to danger from both sides. It is the white Queen's move. She stands, tall and pale. She has one final chance, but though she trembles with the choice she knows she made years ago, she elects to stand her ground. And wait as her white King moves a step closer.
"And if it’s set in motion
I’ll watch it all pass by,
and leave the rest unspoken
I’ll never change my mind.

Leave it unspoken, leave it unspoken,
Leave it unspoken, leave it unspoken now."

Hurts.

Monday 24 January 2011

Thing is, I knew it.

I do know you this well. Almost two years later and I still know. You don't know me as well as I know you. If you did you'd have guessed. To me it's blatantly obvious... But then it would be. But I can't do what you've done. God, I wish I could.
Fall back and behind, my love. Fall back and behind and away and forget. Leave me with my knowledge, because you believe I don't, while I know we both do. And this side is the one that's far, far harder to be on.

I am a tattered collection of unfinished stories.